She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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