This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
