marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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