Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
