I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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