WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
