If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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