put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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