He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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