Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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