Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
