I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
