I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
