After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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