We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
