she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
