Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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