are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
