I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
