we're chasing vodka with high fives
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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