good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
