Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
