So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
