Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
