He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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