I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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