At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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