See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
