He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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