her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
