I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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