White coat. Heels.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
