i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
