Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize