About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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