Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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