Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
