I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
