The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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