Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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