butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
honey bunches of taint.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
