he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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