If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
