i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
ttyl tear gas
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
