Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
