the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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