You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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