covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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