remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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