In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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