He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
